Save your marriage: a happier marriage in just one week

Anti-aging your relationship in 7 ways, 7 days

What’s the secret to a happy marriage? Romantic weekends help, but love isn’t something you postpone for “special occasions.” It’s what you do today — for yourself, for your husband, for the commitment you made to each other to “love, honor, cherish, and protect.”

And what many couples will tel you is that the changes aren’t that hard to make. We challenge you to make a few very simple steps in the next 7 days — steps that open your heart, change your attitudes, and create not just a romantic atmosphere, but a romantic perspective. It can make a world of difference in your marriage, and your life.

Monday: Romance begins in your heart

Worrying not only brings out your wrinkles, it wears down your spirit until you lose your ability to enjoy your marriage, and your life. Stop seeing life as a series of chores: rediscover the dream, and the romance of being alive.

You can start today. Write a letter to yourself, listing 30 things you want to do in the next 5 years (example, see Paris!). Remember your passion for life is one of the sexiest things in a woman. He’l love the twinkle in your eye and the joy in your voice. Plus, you’ll feel 10 years younger.

Tuesday: Don’t just say “I love you”, speak lovingly

Communication is the key to any happy marriage. If you can’t talk about your feelings without fighting, no amount of scented candles can make you intimate. For tips on how to resolve conflicts, read How to Speak Your Spouse’s Language: Ten Easy Steps to Great Communication by H. Norman Wright.

It’s possible to disagree without feeling threatened or putting each other down. And once you learn to sound supportive and understanding — even when you’re talking about everyday errands or your family budget — every conversation brings your closer together.

Wednesday: Honor your time together

You don’t need a romantic dinner to have “quality” time. Every night is a special date when you find pleasure in each other’s company. The only problem is that we often come home stressed out — and often take the stress out on each other. Shift out of ofice mode, using music as your subliminal cue. Play romantic, relaxing CDs not just on special nights, but after dinner, on your drive to work, lazy weekends, and consciously think that, literally, “this is our time, and our song.” Over time, the effect is dramatic. Your voice automatically changes, and even your body language.

Thursday: Appreciate love in all its forms

You and your husband may not be the “hugging” type, but according to Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, people express affection in different ways. Some use affirmation (reguar praise); others use acts of service (like fixing a leaky faucet or cooking a meal); while others value sex and physical touch, quality time, or receiving gifts. Identify and appreciate your natural love language is, and spot the hidden “I love you’s” in every single day.

Friday: Celebrate the journey

You may have gotten over the need to celebrate your anniversary but do take time to honor the special milestones you’ve had as a couple. How has our relationship changed over the years? What new things have you learned about each other? If he’s not the talking type, the easy-to-answer guide questions in the “About Us” Couple Journal may reveal a lot of surprising things about him.

Saturday: Renew your marriage vows

You can renew your vows at a big party, or quietly recite them to each other at the same wedding altar. How you do it isn’t the point: it’s reflecting on your relationship and why you can tell your husband, “I still choose to spend the eternity with you.” But tonight, before you set the Big Date, take time to work on your vow. Guide questions:

Reflect on the years together. What are your favorite memories and what role did your spouse play in making those moments special?

“For better or worse.” Can you remember a time when you and your spouse laughed the hardest together? Cried the hardest together?

“For richer or poorer.” Can you remember a time when you had no money at all? How did you overcome that together?

“In sickness and in health.” Can you remember a time when you were very sick, depressed and troubled? How was your spouse there for you?

“Till death do us part.” What are your hopes and dreams? What do you want to do differently than you have in the past? What do you want to continue to do the same?

Sunday: To take care of your marriage, take care of yourself

Look good for him. And it’s not just wearing a nice dress or putting on lipstick, it’s investing in your skin care, so you look as lovely and radiant as the day you were married.